It is about this time every year

We all say it. "Next year, I want to be more organised." "Next year I want to loose 5kgs." "Next year is going to be the year I get a new job." "Next year, I have to use 10balls of yarn before I can purchase any more." "Next Year....." The list is endless and varies from person to person. But there are two things all New Years resolutions seem to have in common.

Firstly, New Years Resolutions are about bettering yourself. No one ever says "Next Year, I am going to be lazier." Or "Next year I want to earn less money." They are about something you want or need to do, in order to feel better about yourself and your situation. It can be a physical thing, like loosing weight or learning to Ski. Or it can be a mental thing, like enrolling in that course you always wanted to do, or challenging yourself to read a book a week. Or it could be an emotional thing, becoming closer with your family or getting yourself a promotion for a greater sense of worth. Whatever it is it is about making you feel better about YOU.

The second thing all New Years Resolutions have in common is probably the hardest thing of all resolutions to do. Whatever your Resolution, YOU are resolving to CHANGE. Ever noticed how easy it is to stick to the diet you Resolved to go on for the first few weeks of the year? But what happens after those first few weeks? And it is certainly easier to spend more time with the kids while you are all on holiday, but what happens during that first week back at work? How easy is it to slip back into the comfort zone of doing it the way it has always been done? And why is it that we slip back into our old routines? Is it because the goals we set ourselves in our New Years Resolution where to hard to achieve? Maybe. But more often than not our failure to achieve is not because we couldn't do it. It is because we failed to change the way we were doing it.

I myself have made more New Years Resolutions than I care to count. Some I have achieved, but to be honest, most I have not. I have failed to change. I know that change is one of the hardest things to do, but I also know that I need to do it. I will not change the world. Nor should I even attempt it. But perhaps I can change a few little things about me, that might have an effect on someone else. And that person may just have an effect on someone else.

I know, I know. We haven't even gotten to Christmas yet and I am talking about New Years. And I sound like one of those self help preachy types who has all the answers, and will sell 'em to you on CD for 3 easy payments of $49.95 (plus shipping and handling). But I am not. I am just talking myself into working out what little things about myself I can change next year. I am thinking I need to start small. Do I need to work out what my long term goals are? Yes, I do. But I need to take things one step at a time. In the past I have been so resistant to change, but I think it is time I changed that.

What small thing are you going to change?

My Happy List

Inspired by the wonderful Beckyetal I have decided I should do a happy list too. There have been times recently, when Happy has not been here, but we all have things that make us happy, even if it is something little.

My Little Emo's. Some days they make me cranky, some days they make me sad, some days they make me laugh and some days they make me feel old, but when they are not looking, they mostly make me happy,



My Fibre Obession. Whether it is dyeing or knitting or crochet or spinning, the quiet time in my head is always welcome and always makes me happy.


My newly remembered, but long forgotten sewing obsession. I used to sew out of necessity, kids clothing, curtains for the house, library bags for school, but now, I sew because I like too, not because I have to, and that makes me happy,


And finally, my friends, without whom life would not be so happy :) Thanks Girls.

....

10 hours driving, for 30mins work, 35degrees at lunch time, in the shade, but a beautiful way to end the day :)

......

Rows and flows of angel hair
And ice cream castles in the air
And feather canyons everywhere
I've looked at clouds that way

But now they only block the sun
They rain and snow on everyone
So many things I would have done
But clouds got in my way

I've looked at clouds from both sides now
From up and down, and still somehow
It's cloud illusions I recall
I really don't know clouds at all

Moons and Junes and Ferris wheels
The dizzy dancing way you feel
As every fairy tale comes real
I've looked at love that way

But now it's just another show
You leave 'em laughing when you go
And if you care, don't let them know
Don't give yourself away

I've looked at love from both sides now
From give and take, and still somehow
It's love's illusions I recall
I really don't know love at all

Tears and fears and feeling proud
To say "I love you" right out loud
Dreams and schemes and circus crowds
I've looked at life that way

Oh but now old friends are acting strange
They shake their heads, they tell me that I've changed
Well something's lost but something's gained
In living every day

I've looked at life from both sides now
From WIN and LOSE and still somehow
It's life's illusions I recall
I really don't know life at all

I've looked at life from both sides now
From up and down and still somehow
It's life's illusions I recall
I really don't know life at all


Not my words, they belong to the great Joni Mitchell, but today, they speak to me.

Selfies, a day late and full of fail!

So, apparently, taking photos of myself is not my thing!

Alex's new friend

Alex was digging in the sand pit (read sand box filled with sand and weeds) and found a new friend this afternoon.



We have no idea what sort of frog he is, but his name is Sandy ;)

Come for a walk with me

Come for a walk with me around my Mummy's garden.





















I love Spring!

An anniversary, of sorts.

The long weekend in October 2007 was really nothing special. We didn't have anything planned really, just the usual groceries and washing and lawn mowing that occurs most weekends around here. But it was not an ordinary weekend. There was an additional day off tacked onto the end of it.

It is a wonderful thing, that paid day off. It feels almost as though it is our one chance to claim something back for all of the time we give our employers. You wake up on the Monday morning already to get up to pack lunches and fight to get kids dressed, and then a small thought niggles at the back of your head, and you are reminded that you don't have to get up, you can catch an extra 5 if you want to, the day is yours, to do with what you want.

Previously, I had had to work most public holidays. It was one of the downfalls of working in retail and hospitality. I really didn't mind working them, the extra money was always welcome, and it was not like we could really afford to go anywhere anyway back then. But our circumstances had changed. We were both working full time jobs, they didn't pay alot, hell, they still don't, but we could finally afford for me not to have to work more than one job. The long weekend in October was going to be my first long weekend over which I did not have to rush off to work. And I had decided that I was going to do something for myself to celebrate.

I really didn't know what I wanted to do. I wanted to do something I WANTED TO DO. I figured I had earned it lol. So I made a decision, I would learn something that someone had tried to teach me ages ago, but I was too young and impatient to learn. I used the power of Google to work out what I would actually need (though I probably could have worked it out with out Google) and I found a few instruction videos that looked ok and easy to follow. I may have been wrong.

It really shouldn't have been as hard as it was. Either I wasn't doing it right or the videos where wrong. I decided that the videos where wrong. So I searched for some more, and I found a few. This woman at least didn't talk to me like I was an idiot. It hadn't occurred to me until I found the right video, that I may have been trying to learn to do it the wrong way around for me. That would certainly explain why it felt so incredibly unnatural to hold it. So I locked myself in my bedroom with my laptop and my instruments of destruction and gave it another go, I would be buggerred if it was going to beat me.

My first results where not pretty. In fact, I am not sure it could really truely pass as craft. The 'string' was really only there to hold the holes together. But it was mine and I was proud. I had managed to knit myself a pot holder, out of baby melting acrylic, but I wasn't to know better then.

So, this weekend my friends, is somewhat of an anniversay. Without this weekend in 2007, I would never have meet you all. Without my day off in October, I may never have learned to knit. It has opened up so much to me, a craft that I love, extra crafts that go with it, and friends I would never have found.

Unexpected beauty

Sometimes you find the most unexpected things in an unexpected place.



As most of you know, I drive a lot for work. And I mean A LOT. On one of my regular trips, I travel to Moree, about 3.5 hours from home, and I more often than not drive home again at the end of the day.
I try and break my trips up a bit, trying to stop every couple of hours, just to take a walk around the car to stretch my legs. There is a beautiful lookout on the road to Moree, about 5 kms the other side of Warialda. I stop there fairly regularly, as it is about then that I feel the need to stretch a little.
The view is amazing. On a clear day, you can see for miles. The landscape is beautiful, especially at this time of year, with paddocks full of blooming crops, the lush greens of wheat and chickpeas, and the gorgeous golden yellow of canola, it looks just like grandma's handmade patchwork quilt.
You get used to seeing yellow on the side of the road out there at this time of the year. Over seeding of canola crops and the wild canola that grows by the side of the are fairly common. So to see yellow flowers you would be fairly safe to assume that they are the little yellow pea shaped canola.
But every so often, you should take time to actually look at the flowers, they might just be something you where not expecting.

So I have been thinking...

I am just going to ramble here for a bit. TL:DR warning....

I have been thinking alot lately, about all sorts of things. I have spent quite some time trying to work out who I am and why I am, trying to decide what I am going to do with me. I need to allow myself to be me, not just Mother and Wife and Daughter and Sister and Employee. I still need and want to be all of that, but there needs to be more to me than that. I am not sure yet what I want or what I need, but I want something.

Shit happens, and just recently, I have been the person who shit happens to. Maybe I need to unplug, take some time for me and my little family. I feel like i am being pulled in every direction but I don't want to go in any of them. I am just not sure who I am or who I want to be anymore.

Friends

Ok, so regular updates - obviously not my thing.

But events over the last few weeks have made me come to a realisation. We really are a wonderful group of people.

Not wishing to get all smooshy and lovey dovey here, but you guys, and you know who you are, really are a special bunch. We have all started from different places, and no doubt we will all end up in different places, but somehow we have come together over our crafts and have learned and laughed together. We stick up for each other, and are there to lend a hand or a shoulder to cry on if need be, and for that I am thankful. Thankyou Ladies, for your friendship, for opening your hearts to each other and to me, and for reminding me, that no matter what, there are people who are willing to let me laugh with them over tea and melting moments.

Fiddling with things

So, still not really sure what I am doing here but just palying with the way things look. I am not really sure about any of the templates so maybe I might look into doing up one of my own. I think I will try a few and see how I go.

But today, I had some very yummy woolie mail arrive from Bendigo. My Mum had previously ordered a few balls of Melody, BWM's new but short run Squooshie Merino, just to see what it was like. It arrived a little while ago and I loved it so much I just had to order some for myself. Ok, so I know I was suppose to be on a Yarn Diet but I couldn't help it! It is very similar to Zara and Zarina. I am thinking it will have to be something for me. I am not sure what yet but I have it sitting on the couch next to me so that it can tell me what it is it wants to become :) Will post some photos once I work out how to... I have a bit of a learning curve with the new blog and the new camera (that is if I can ever pry it away from the Husbeast!)

So, Here it is....

Ok, so I was told I have to.

I was told that everyone wants to read about my crafty adventures. Personally I think no one will want to read about my dead-pan boring life - Kids, Work, Sleep. And not so much of the last one. So for all those who said that I must, and for all those who think that I should, here it is - my blog.

Updates may be frequent, or few and far between. Posts might be full of crafty gleeful adventure, or they might just be me bitching about my ever increasing amount of white hairs and lack of personal time, but they will always be about me, as boring or as exciting as that may be.